Heed the Voice of the Lord

IF YOU will listen diligently to the voice of the Lord your God, being watchful to do

all His commandments which I command you this day,

the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth.

And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you if you heed the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city and blessed shall you be in the field.

Deuteronomy 28:1-3 (Amplified)

I am completely blown away by the absolutely awesome reality that the Lord our God speaks to us!  I mean really speaks.  Though I have never heard the audible sound of His Voice, over the past few years I have come to recognize the inaudible "sound" of His Voice in my mind and heart.  Sometimes we have conversations that I initiate but recently I've been learning how important it is that I always be alert to listen for Him to interrupt my thoughts.  As Deuteronomy 28:2 states above, blessings are at stake!

This praiseworthy tale happened October 6th, 2010.  Just trying to put words to paper here causes tears to flow down my cheeks.  Who is this God who would care so much as to speak to me?  Praise God, though completely undeserved and the 100% result of grace - He's mine!

Some of my friends and I have just started the practice of getting together at our church for what we call "community cooking".  We all have busy families and want to maximize our time spent enjoying them and minimize the time we spend in the kitchen.  So, we've started getting together at our church and compiling a months worth of meals per family all in one day.  It's hard work but the work is shared and the benefits are proving huge.  It's also prompted a desire in some of us to be able to share our provisions with others.  As such, we really try to get the best deals possible on the ingredients that we purchase.  This is precisely the mission that I had been on.

Our local grocery store makes the habit of discounting day old and aging items but in order to take advantage of this pricing, you need to be among the first to arrive as the store opens.  I had been making frequent trips early in the morning but had been having neglible success on the ingredients that we needed, so I resigned myself to the fact that we were just going to have to pay regular retail on our items.  Now when 5 of us are planning on making 23 meals each, that's a significant loss of savings, especially on meat.  With only 2 mornings left before our big cook, I didn't bother to go early to see what they had.

I woke and started into my regular routine, but God quickly put a curve in my plan.  My husband needed a ride to work.  After dropping him off, I heard Him whisper to me "go and check out the meat selection."  I'd love to say that my response was "of course" but it wasn't.  Instead I began to argue with Him. 

"Well, Lord, I've been checking it each morning and there's been NOTHING!" 

Again, the gentle whisper, "go and check out the meat selection." 

"But, Lord, the store has been open for more than 2 hours.  There's not a chance that there's anything left."

Praise the Lord that He is gracious and mercifully persistent with me!  I came to the conclusion that He could, perhaps have saved me some deals and turned my van in that direction.  Now the most expensive item on our list was the chicken.  As I took a cart from the stall, I told the Lord that I was taking a cart on faith because I was going to look mighty stupid walking in and out of the store with an empty cart.  Oh, me of little faith!  I walked straight to the meat section and wouldn't you know it, the chicken thighs all had 30% off stickers on them.  I needed 140 chicken thighs and - you guessed it - there were exactly 140 chicken thighs being clearanced!  Of course!  Praise the Lord!

I went over an aisle and could hardly believe my eyes... the skinless, boneless chicken breasts were not only on sale for $3.98/lb but they were also all stickered at 30% off!  I quickly calculated how many breasts we needed (because of course I didn't have my list as I hadn't had any intention of coming to the grocery store that morning).  I needed 40 breasts.  I gathered 40 breasts and there were still more packages left.  I made a quick call to another group that was doing a similiar cook the next week.  I was able to gather all that they needed and there was even one package to spare which I purchased for myself.

As I made my way to the cashier - cart full of chicken - I was amazed at the awesome provision of the Lord but He wasn't done!  While I was standing in line a man tapped me on my shoulder and offered for me to be cashed out at customer service. He walked me over there and asked what all of the chicken was for.  I told him of our cook day and our plans to expand these provisions for those in need or to help others in crisis.  He then introduced himself as the new manager of the store and if I would put that information onto church letterhead, he would give us a gift card for $200 to help us get started! 

Can you believe it?  I couldn't and yet oh, how I should have!  My God works the miraculous all of the time!

The cashier rang in my items.  I have no idea what we saved by having the chicken be on sale but we saved more than $80 with the 30% off stickers.  On top of that, the bill came to $256 which was just enough to qualify for a free $25 gift card towards our next purchase.  I walked out of the grocery store having received more than $305 in savings on a $256 purchase! 

Our God is an awesome God!  He interrupted my plans to speak to me.  He showed grace as I was reluctant to heed and argued with the King of kings.  He led me to the place where He had prepared a miracle for me.  He went so far above and beyond my wildest dreams.  He showed me favor by putting me within view of the manager of the store and turning his heart toward our cause.  We were willing to share our provisions with those in need as an offering and He saved that for another time by pouring His own funds into His service.

I sing with joy!  I dance with delight!  My awe defies words!  My God is good and His provision is limitless!  Praise the Lord!

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion.

For the LORD is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for him!

Isaiah 30:18

You CANNOT Out-Give God!

The Lord never ceases to amaze me!  Just when my awe starts to dwindle, He does something else that just leaves me speechless.  That's what happened this morning.

I was out walking, enjoying the beautiful fall colors and crisp air.  I don't know how you can stare at the beauty of creation without your heart turning to praise and thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for.  You see, about two weeks ago, a young man with a passion for taking the love of Jesus to the far reaches of South American jungles came to our church.  I was so struck by his love and dedication for these people that I felt that we just had to help support him financially.  We couldn't do what he is doing right now but we could partner with him.  The only "problem" was that there really wasn't "enough" money in the budget to support him as we'd like to without taking it away from other worthy causes.  Okay - I type that and right away I recognize that as a lie.  We live in a nice house with two vehicles (one is a clunker but nonetheless) and a freezer full of food.  We are wealthier than 80% of the world today.  We have more than "enough"!  Be that as it may, we gave a gift but didn't sign a pledge sheet because we didn't know how to do it on a regular basis.

God is SO unbelievably gracious and generous!  He will work with the tiniest little step of faith!  As I was walking, I was thanking the Lord for the raise that my husband got - right out of the blue (well, not to God) on Friday!  A raise!  In this economy when so many have had their wages rolled back, my husband gets a raise!  Talk about the favor of the Lord!  And an answer to prayer!  You see, I had asked the Lord to help me know how we could support this young man on his mission of love for Jesus.  The raise each month covers the amount that we had wanted to give and some extra.  How awesome is that!?

And this is not just a one time occurrence.  We could give you one for instance after another that we have personally experienced over the years!  Like last year, when our daughter desperately wanted to sponsor a child.  Once again, we of little faith, weren't sure how we could do it but we also weren't sure how we could not.  We decided to step out in faith.  The amount was $35 each month.  Our daughter would sacrifice $5 each month of her allowance and we would give $30.  Wouldn't you know it if my friend didn't share her yogurt recipe with me just after that.  Our family loves yogurt.  By making our own, we save - you guessed it - $30 per month on the grocery bill! 

I'm praying that this time, the awe and gratitude that wells up in my heart for the Lord will overflow in faith!  The next time God presents an opportunity that He wants us to partner with Him on, I want to have the faith to just say "yes" and to remember that our Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He always provides. 

Just as a side note - a reminder to myself - in the area of giving a portion of all we have back to the Lord, we are actually invited to test Him and just see what He will do when we are obedient to what He has asked.  Malachi 3:10-11 say, "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.  I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty."

And He does just that!  Praise God!

He Commands His Angels Concerning Thee

God will command His angels to protect you wherever you go.

Psalm 91:11 (CEV)

When I was a teenager, I used to love a song by Amy Grant called “Angels Watching Over Me”. Some of the lyrics are, “God only knows the times my life was threatened just today. A reckless car ran out of gas before it ran my way. Near misses all around me – accidents unknown – though I never see with human eyes the hands that lead me home.” The melody was catchy and the beat was appealing. I knew the words by heart but I can’t say that really got the meaning. I was young and invincible. No doubt, there have been countless times that the Lord has preserved my life when I have been absolutely unaware but one night nearly 15 years after I last remember cranking the volume on this song, the Lord proved it miraculously true!

It wasn’t long after my Dad had passed away. Kent was away on business and Mom and I had decided to take the kids to a local hotel for the night. The hotel had a great pool and waterslide and all of us seemed to need the break. We had enjoyed splashing around in the pool and tucked the children into their beds, when I remembered something at home that I needed. It was late but Mom was there to watch over the sleeping darlings so I dashed home to retrieve the forgotten article.

We had had such a great evening that I was overwhelmed with songs of thanksgiving and praise for the Lord. It is an unspeakable joy when the Lord proves Himself present and comforting in grief. It was a short drive to my home and back. I was going through the last intersection before the entrance to the hotel parking lot and I was completely lost in the worship of our Almighty God when I heard the screeching of tires and life catapulted into slow motion.

A pick-up truck had slammed on its brakes and was “sliding” sideways just inches from my van. He had run the red light. Had I seen him or had any thought that he was there, I would have hit my own brakes from pure instinct. Rather than narrowly missing the rear of the driver’s side, I am confident that he would have struck me somewhere around my door. With the speed at which he was driving, there is little doubt that my mom would have lost a daughter that day and my children their mother.

The driver of the truck obviously shared my opinion as he managed his way to the curb and just sat there – shook – for what must have been five minutes. I somehow navigated into the hotel parking lot just across the street from the truck and sat in stunned silence. I had never come so close to disaster. I was in awe of the fact that had I not been lost in worship, I would have been dead. O how wonderful the matchless grace of Jesus! Praise His Name!

When I got up to the room, Mom met me at the door. The room was dark yet her first words were “what happened?” Initially, I thought she must have seen the still stunned look on my face but she went on to explain… She had climbed into bed next to Taylor, ready to fall asleep, when she felt an urgent need to intercede for me. Though she had no idea what was transpiring only a few hundred feet away, she was overwhelmed with the sense that I was in trouble. She immediately fell to her knees beside the bed and yielded to the urgings of the Holy Spirit. Though she didn’t know what to pray, the Spirit interceded for her with groans and utterances that words could not express. She got up from her knees only as I came to the door.

Why does the Lord do that? Call others to wait on Him as He performs a miracle? I don’t know. I think it must have something to do with the fact that neither the one being rescued nor the one interceding ever forgets how the hand of God moved. Nor will either ever quickly dismiss such urgings as coincidence again. I cannot explain why the Lord chooses to partner with His people in such a way but I do know that the Bible says that sometimes “we have not because we ask not.” I am so grateful that Mom fell to her knees for me and forever indebted to the One who hears and answers our prayers!

I will never give up hope or stop praising You.

All day long I will tell the wonderful things You do to save Your people.

But You have done much more than I could possibly know.

I will praise You, LORD God,

For Your mighty deeds and Your power to save.

Psalm 71:14-16 (CEV)

Healing in the Wind

Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.”

And with that He breathed on them…

John 20:22 (NIV)

I find it amazing that God’s Word is so complete. Whether we read the Word first, then our experience backs it up, or we experience the Lord and then come across scripture that puts words to His action – it does not matter. His Word is complete!

I had an encounter with the Lord in the fall of 2004 that remains as vivid in my mind today as the day that it happened. I can close my eyes and relive the sights and the smells… It was a brisk fall day. The trees were ablaze with color! Rich reds, browns, fiery oranges and yellows – creation was ignited with praise – but my heart was dead grey and stone cold.

I can’t adequately describe the hopelessness and despair that I carried. In fact, I think that I had carried it so long that I was past feeling much of anything at all. I had just walked my tiny son to school and as I returned home, I remember being numb. There were no tears – simply an unspoken acknowledgement to the Lord that I was sure that life was supposed to hold more. I turned to walk down the back lane. I didn’t feel like being seen. Somehow, I think I just wanted to disappear – resigned to carry my burden unnoticed and by myself. That’s when it happened…

A warm gust of wind rushed down the lane and enveloped me. It was so profound that I stopped in my tracks. I closed my eyes and let it swirl around me. Somehow, I knew something was happening. Somehow, the rush of that wind lifted my burdens and freed me to see – to taste and see that the Lord was still good. That He truly had not forgotten me nor forsaken me.

I was freed to cry! Not tears of hopelessness but rather such an overwhelming peace! The Lord knew where I was and He – in an instant – blew away the chains that had bound me. My heart joined the symphony of creation! I am reminded of the words of Genesis 2:7, “the LORD God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” It was like I had come alive again. His breath healed me! He inclined His ear to my faint cry. He bent low and blew life and peace into me once more.

All of the sudden, the world was beautiful! Everywhere I looked, I saw His grandeur and the magnificence of my Creator. There was a lightness to my step and fresh found courage – the kind that comes when your feet have set upon the solid Rock!

I will always remember the warmth of His breath. I can’t read verses about the breath of life or His command of the winds without closing my eyes in grateful recognition. Was life “all better” after that? No. I had, and have, so much to learn. But I’m learning to trust the wind because I know its Master. Psalm 107: 25 & 29 says, “He commands and raises up the stormy wind” and “He hushes the storm to a calm and to a gentle whisper”. When I trust the Lord and His methods of working with me, I can soar on the winds like the eagle.

“Praise the Lord, O my soul!

O Lord my God, You are very great;

You are clothed with splendor and majesty…

He makes winds His messengers.”

Psalm 104:1, 4a (NIV)

Angels in the Airport

“For He will command His angels concerning you

To guard you in all your ways.”

Psalm 91:11 (NIV)

Sometimes life lessons come to us in the most unexpected places. I think that the Lord often does that to remind us that His ways are so much higher than our ways. Way too often, I believe I fail to recognize the blessing of the Lord because I was expecting different packaging. This time, however, the blessing was so great – so unexpected – that I couldn’t help but stand in awe of the gift and the Giver.

It was April 25th, 2007 and I was on my way to visit my “sister” in Houston, Texas. My flight had me flying out of Winnipeg and through Denver, Colorado. For reasons that I no longer remember, our departure from Winnipeg was delayed and not just by moments but rather hours. I was travelling alone and I felt it. I was faced with a choice. I could be frustrated that my short visit was being made even shorter or I could choose to remember that God is Sovereign and in control of all things. Praise the Lord, my Savior’s voice could be heard above the noise of my thoughts and peace descended as I settled in to trust Him.

Now peace does not come naturally to me. I can get wrought up over whether or not my house is clean, if the power point slide will display accurately, etc. etc. and yet here in the midst of uncertain circumstances, my instinctive response was to praise God! When my flight finally took off from Winnipeg, it was already inevitable that I would miss my connecting flight from Denver to Houston. I calmly planned to check in with customer service when I landed and continued offering songs of praise, in my heart, to the Lord.

When the doors of the plane opened, it was nearly a stampede of disgruntled passengers streaming to the desk to see how the airline planned to fix their travel plans. It was around 11:00 pm and I must have been about 15th in line. It quickly became evident that all of us would be sleeping in Denver that night. I had the option of taking a cab to a hotel and spending the night there but the prospect of lining that all up and leaving the airport by myself didn’t appeal to me. The airline could get me out of Denver by 8:00 am the next morning and I thought it was a lot of overhead to get only 5 or so hours of sleep in a bed with no luggage. An amazing friend of my friend generously offered to drive nearly an hour each way to come to the airport, take me home with her and then return me the next morning. I was blown away! She had never even met me! What a display of loving as Christ loves but I didn’t take her up on it. Once again, I thought it was so much overhead for such little sleep. I chose to spend the night in the airport.

The Lord had been preparing me all day for this. On the shuttle from Brandon to Winnipeg, He had placed me beside a woman who was grieving the loss of her husband. My own grief from losing my dad was still fresh and I could sympathize with her and encourage her. She recognized me. I had gone to school with one of her daughters and she had known of my dad. The Lord had made me aware of her heavy heart and prompted me to speak with her. He knew. He cared for her. He guided our details and I rejoiced at His providence.

In my journal, that night, I wrote, “…it looks like I’ll spend the night on a bench in the Denver airport – I am 100 % at peace. That is such a testimony of the peace that transcends all understanding. It sure transcends mine. My instinctive response this moment is worship! That fact blows my mind. Would I like to get to Houston tonight? Absolutely! But if not, whatever… where I sleep tonight is such a minor detail. Do what You will. I trust You and know You will accomplish what concerns me! Amen!”

I found a quiet but not out of the way bench and snuggled in. I tucked my purse with my passport and wallet over my shoulder and under my arm and settled in to sleep. The number of people around me was fewer and fewer. Some men worked nearby on the moving sidewalk and I slept. Hymns of thanksgiving floated through my dreams. I’ve only had that sort of overwhelming flood of praise once before. What a gift!

At one point in the night, I resurfaced from my slumber and thought, “Lord, a pillow and a blanket would sure be nice.” I’m not sure how much later I awoke as a kind, old janitor was carefully tucking TWO blankets over me and had TWO pillows for me to rest my head on! Even as I write this, more than a year later, tears flow down my cheeks as I marvel at the Lord’s abundance! He is so good!

The fact that I was able to sleep was such a gift! I had asked the Lord to wake me so that I wouldn’t be late for my flight. He knows how to bless me so well. I woke just as the coffee was beginning to brew at Starbucks! I bought myself a steaming latte – in my favorite flavor – and made my way to my gate. Of course, there was the most awesome sunrise! My favorite display of nature. What a pallet our Creator paints from!

I pulled out my journal. I had to document this adventure with the Lord. “Did I sleep in Your Throne Room, Father?” “Do You have an angel or two working in the Denver Airport?” I guess I’ll have to wait for heaven to have those questions answered. In the meantime, I am reminded that my Gracious Heavenly Father cares for ME. And I can say with absolute assurance that He cares for YOU. May that knowledge affect our choices today and every day.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;

or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food,

and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air;

they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?

Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV)

Limitless Supply!

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,

according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church

and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20, 21 (NIV)

It’s taking some time but I am learning that I serve a God of extravagance. He is the “much more” God. Whether it stemmed from a poor understanding of who I am in Christ or a lack of faith, I spent the first 35 years of my life asking God for what I thought I needed – nothing more, nothing less. James 4:2 tells us that we have not because we ask not. I can’t help but wonder how many blessings I have forfeited simply because it never crossed my mind to ask? As a parent, I love to give good things to my children. God is no different and I’m a daughter of the King! Let me tell you a couple of stories about the generosity of the King of kings.

The first took place less than two weeks before my Dad died. I was going to be spending the night with Dad in the hospital so that Mom could catch a few hours of sleep. The nurses had allowed Mom and me to provide much of Dad’s care and I wanted to be right by his side. It was late. I was exhausted. The room was dark and filled to capacity. All four beds were full with patients. So I gathered three cafeteria style chairs and lined them up beside Dad’s bed. As I lay my head on the first chair and balanced my body over the other two, I remember asking the Lord to keep me from falling off the chairs while I slept. The Lord must have shook His head at His tiny child. Did she not know that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and commands the sun to rise and set? Was He not capable of so much more? A low whisper woke me in the night and a kind orderly was there with a cot – complete with pillow and blanket! How he had managed to fit it into that cramped room I’ll never know but it was heavenly! I climbed in and drifted back off to sleep with tears spilling onto the pillow. I had asked the Lord not to let me fall off the three chairs and He had sent me a bed. He was looking out for what concerned me. I could certainly trust Him with the days ahead…

Another night as I prepared to leave the hospital, I was feeling a little nervous about walking out to the car by myself. It was way past midnight and everyone else who was leaving for the night had long since gone home. I prayed as I left Dad’s room, asking the Lord to provide me with protection. I didn’t expect Him to provide me with a chaperone. I guess I just expected to do it afraid. I clutched my Bible to my chest and headed off to the elevator. As I waited for the elevator to arrive, a nurse walked up from the other direction. She looked at the book in my arms and asked me what I was reading. I told her the Bible and leaned it out for her to see. Her face lit up. “You read the Bible?” she said. I told her I did. She immediately told me that she and her husband had just started attending a Bible study and there was something she just couldn’t figure out. She asked me if she could walk with me and ask me her question. I don’t even remember what the question was but by the grace of God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I was able to answer her and point her to where it was in the Word. Our conversation ended at the door of my car! The Lord knew that He could satisfy two needs that night. To the God of all creation, the One who puts the stars in place and orchestrates the spinning of the cosmos, it took nothing more than a thought to cause our paths to cross. A question answered. A protective escort. An Almighty God!

Whatever the blessing is in our cup it is sure to run over (Psalm 23). God never settles for satisfactory or “just sufficient”. His grace is abundant (Romans 5:17). He pardons freely (Isaiah 55:7). Hope in Him overflows (Romans 15:13). Joy from Him is complete (John 16:22). Peace transcends understanding (Philippians 4:6-7). Power, love and capability are beyond our comprehension (Ephesians 3:16-21) and His provision comes from the floodgates of heaven! Now that’s a God worth serving forever!

So I say to you: ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;

Knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives;

he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Luke 11:9-10

Unlikely Comfort

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you...”

Isaiah 66:13a (NIV)

The comfort of a mother is a beautiful thing. It takes many forms, a gentle touch, a tender kiss, a look of understanding, a word of compassion, even a simple band-aid. The outward expressions are endless but the root is the same – love. A mother seems to know just what her child needs. She can make “it” feel better. That’s how it is with our Heavenly Father. He knows us intimately and completely and He comforts us – His children.

It has been nearly two years since my dad died. I have grieved. My family has grieved. But no one has grieved more or deeper than my mom. She and dad began “looking” at each other at age 13. Dad gave Mom her first kiss. He gave her her first ring – a beautiful black diamond and pearl with his first pay check when they were 16. Their lives were intricately entwined for the better part of 50 years. Though we can sympathize with her grief, we can not comprehend the depths of it, but the Lord does.

I know that when the Lord looks at my Mom, He sees her grief. He feels it and knows its every facet. His very nature is compassionate. When He withheld healing from my Dad He was exercising self-control because there was a greater good. Someday we’ll know what that was but for now, we watch as the Lord comforts my Mom in some pretty amazing ways.

Mom often goes to the cemetery to express her grief and to process her thoughts. She knows that Dad is not really there but it’s a place to let go of the tears, talk out the decisions of life and reminisce of days gone by. No one goes with her. That’s the way she’s wanted it since the very beginning. Yet she’s never there alone. God sends an unlikely companion to comfort her…a big, old black dog! It started on her very first trip. The old dog came out of nowhere and licked her tears. He laid his head in her lap and sat with her. He comes every time. We don’t know his name. He doesn’t seem to care. He just knows she needs a friend and so he waits with her.

Only God could have chosen such a comfort. He’s the perfect company for her there. Mom doesn’t feel she has to be tough or temper her tears. She doesn’t have to make sure that everything she says makes sense. She doesn’t have to be alone. The old dog comes without fail. His timing is uncanny. In fact it’s miraculous! He meets her before she’s parked her car. He walks her to the spot. Sometimes it’s obvious he’s been laying at Dad’s side. He’s oblivious to the cold. He doesn’t care what time of day Mom comes. He just does the bidding of the Father and comes to comfort God’s child.

I look forward to the day when Mom’s mourning is turned to gladness, when she has joy instead of sorrow. It’s coming. Some days I see glimpses of it. Ultimately, one day the Lord Himself will wipe away every tear from her eyes. Until then, I am thankful for that old dog.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth

had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city,

the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven

like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying,

“Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them,

and they will be his people. God himself will be with them.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow

or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

Revelation 21:1-4 (New Living Translation)

He Was Willing

“Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.”

Luke 5:12b (NIV)

In July of 2006, I was diagnosed with colitis. In December of that year, the diagnosis was changed from colitis to Crohn’s disease, a similar but more devastating disease. There is no known cure for Crohn’s. It can be treated through diet and medications but, once diagnosed, it is a lifelong condition. There are many unpleasant effects of Crohn’s disease but one of the worst is a life characterized by pain.

In the spring of 2006, I remember remarking that I thought I was developing an ulcer. I remember nearly constant discomfort. On the first morning of our holidays the pain was so severe that I woke my husband to take me to the hospital. My abdomen hurt with every step and I couldn’t lift my legs high enough to navigate stairs. I was scared.

And so began a stream of many tests. I began the difficult process of learning to “live” with the pain and discomfort of Crohn’s. It was hard. There were good days and bad days. On the good days, I was unable to sit with my arms crossed on my chest because of the pain the pressure placed on my abdomen. I was plagued with constant fatigue. I lost muscle strength. On the bad days, I would stay in bed. There was no comfortable way to lie and I was too tired to function. This was life and yet I never asked the Lord to heal me.

I didn’t realize that I had never asked for healing until the morning of February 19th, 2007. I was sitting alone with God and overwhelmed by the gift of salvation. The generosity of the gift is so immense! That Christ would die to satisfy the wrath of the Father because of my stubborn sin and rebellion… How do you respond to a gift like that – but accept it? I realized that I gladly accepted His salvation, sanctification (that process of His Spirit to make me more Christ-like) and His abiding Presence in my life. How could I refuse any facet that those precious drops of blood were shed for? Yet I was. Isaiah 53:5 says, “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement needful to obtain peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes that wounded Him we are healed and made whole.” (Amplified version, emphasis mine). I would gladly accept the healing of my physical body upon entrance to heaven. Why would I refuse such an offer should He desire to give it before then?

With a mixture of fear and anticipation, I asked the Lord to forgive me and started asking Him to heal me. I don’t want to miss out on a single blessing that my loving Lord is willing to give! I started asking others to join me as I prayed for healing. I followed the example in scripture and went to the elders of the church and they prayed for healing in my body. I kept asking. I knew the Lord had told me to. And I waited, not sure of what would come.

On June 30th, our family began holidays. I was sick. It was nearly a year to the day since I had gone into hospital and received the initial diagnosis. I remember thinking “will I ever have the strength and stamina to keep up with my family like I once did?” My specialist had booked a series of tests for July 2nd to determine the extent of inflammation. Perhaps that would shed some light on what to do next.

So, on July 2nd, 2007, I was at the hospital bright and early to begin the tests. I should tell you that right from the beginning of my battle with Crohn’s, the Lord would not allow me to take ownership of the disease. When I would say “my Crohn’s” the conviction of the Holy Spirit would get all over me. It was very clear that I was not to claim the disease as mine. That was an odd thing for me. I had never heard anyone teach on the subject but the conviction was very clear. I did my best to obey. So on July 2nd, during the final stages of my tests, I was surprised to hear myself say to one of the nurses “my” Crohn’s. I immediately asked the Lord to forgive me and as she left the room, I said aloud, “I reject that in Jesus’ Name. This is NOT my Crohn’s.” A minute or two later, the doctor came in. It was his responsibility to read the tests. After a few minutes of scanning, he asked me why I was there. I was very careful to say that I had “been diagnosed” with Crohn’s disease. He asked me if a colonoscopy had been used in the diagnosis. I told him yes as well as a gastroscopy, CT scan, blood work, etc. His next question was if I knew where the Crohn’s was located. I told him where the other tests had showed. He turned the monitor towards me so that I could see and then showed me the areas that I had mentioned and said, “there’s NO inflammation there.”

Now it should have showed up. I had just been sick. I nearly asked the Lord aloud what He was up to! Excitement started to pulse in me. What was the Lord doing? Was I being healed? There was no rush of warmth flooding my body or any of the other things that I had heard people talk about when being healed but there was such a wonder and sense of awe. I felt a little like Mary must have as she “pondered these things in her heart.” What was up?

When I got home, I told my husband, my mom and my best friend what had happened. I was unsure of what it all meant. The next day, I woke up to notice that I had no pain or discomfort. With an unspoken question to the Lord, I quit taking my medication. It was almost like “let’s just see.” Oh praise the Lord that He can work with faith as small as a mustard seed! No pain returned! After two weeks of health, the Lord asked me if I was going to tell anyone else what He had done. Now that was a scary question! What if I told people that I had been healed and the disease returned? What if I somehow jinxed it? The Lord is so kind. Did I not know He was big enough to handle all of that?

So I told my close circle of friends and faithful prayer warriors. A week later, I told the team of musicians that I serve with and the elders that prayed over me that day. And today, July 31st, 2007, I’m telling you… Praise the Lord, the One who bore the stripes, I have been healed!

I want to share what one of my friends and prayer partners wrote in response to my declaration. “I don't think you need to spell crohn’s with a capital anymore. Leave the capitals for the LORD, not what He has defeated for His glory. Praise Him!”

Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man.

“I am willing”, He said.

Luke 5:13a (NIV)

“The Bookends”

The LORD will strike Egypt with a plague;

He will strike them and heal them.

They will turn to the LORD, and He will respond to their pleas

And heal them.

Isaiah 19:22 (NIV)

I received a call from a special friend that the Lord often uses to confirm His words to me. She asked me what was happening on March 1st, 2007 because in the margin of her Bible, alongside Isaiah 19:22, she had written my name and the date and referenced me being healed. She hadn’t been studying in Isaiah at that time and couldn’t remember writing there. She wondered if perhaps I had commented to her on something that I had learned from that passage on that day. I opened my current Bible and found the passage totally unmarked. We each checked our journals and there was nothing significant on March 1st. I decided to look in my old Bible, from a different season of life. There I found this verse boldly underlined and in the margin it read “The Lord uses illness to cause us to admit our own insufficiency and turn or return to Him!” It is from October 2005! Before I was ever sick!

I find it amazing that the LORD would care enough to put “bookends” on this story. Before crohn’s ever afflicted my body, He was telling me that sometimes He uses sickness to cause us to admit our own insufficiency and turn back to Him. That is what He did in me throughout this ordeal. He arrested my out-of-control eating and my idolatry with comfort food. He brought me to repentance and I returned to seeking my comfort and solace in Him. I needed to hit the brick wall of disease in order for Him to regain my attention. I praise Him that He cares more about my spiritual condition than my temporary comfort!

I also find it amazing that from the very same passage, the LORD would use the one that is as close to me as a sister to confirm His healing. What was significant about March 1st? I believe He was showing Himself faithful to His Word… for on February 27th I confessed my sin of not trusting the LORD for healing to those who are closest to me and asked them to begin praying for my healing.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other

so that you may be healed.

James 5:16 (NIV)

The Day God Threw a Party!

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

Have you ever wondered if God cares about the details in your life? I mean the little, seemingly insignificant details? It’s one thing to see the real needs in our lives and bring those before the Throne of Grace, but what about our wants? Our desires? Somehow we tend to feel guilty bringing those before the Savior – as if He can’t be bothered with the little things.

I am learning that our God is all about the details. His eyes “range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” (2 Chronicles 16:9) What strengthens your heart more than an outpouring of kindness from the King of kings “just because” He wants you to know that He loves and adores you? Let me tell you about the day that God threw a party…

It was almost our son’s eighth birthday. He was into super heroes and had his sights set on a number of different party supplies. There were the super hero hats and the super hero plates, the super hero napkins, balloons, cake topper, candle holders, party favors… You get the picture. My son really desired these things. In his mind, they were the perfect additions for the perfect party. Me, being much more sensible and frugal, I saw them as cute but unnecessary. If money were no object…maybe… I decided to think about it. After all, we still had a few days before we needed to pick up the supplies for the party and that gave me time to pick and choose what we would purchase.

A few days later, I entered the grocery store with our daughter. We decided to take another look at the party supplies. Wouldn’t you know it if the super hero supplies were totally gone from the party section. Not a single super hero item was left. I thought about Carter being disappointed but there was also part of me that thought “well, I guess God answered that one and didn’t want us to spend the extra money on frivolous extras.” Oh, how wrong I was! A few turns around the grocery isles and we ran smack, dab into a clearance bin FULL of – you guessed it – super hero party supplies! There wasn’t a single supply there that wasn’t from the exact pattern that Carter had picked out and every single item was mere pennies on the dollar of the original price! Nothing was missing. The plates and napkins, balloons, cake topper, candle holders and party favors… exactly what was desired to make the perfect party for 8 eight year old boys!

I was speechless. I could hardly control the surge of emotion that welled up within me. I knew that God had provided these little things – not because we needed them – but because He loves us and wants to give good gifts to His children. Now you may say “that’s merely coincidence” but I know it’s not. Just ask me about the little girl that desperately wanted to wear a gymnastics suit to the birthday party at the gym. A pair of shorts and a t-shirt would have worked just as well but she wanted to be a beautiful gymnast. God knows how the perfectly sized bodysuit in the perfect color was sitting on the neighborhood garage sale table the morning of the party. Why? Because His little girl really wanted one and it gave Him great pleasure to love up on her in that way. Still not convinced? A few months later, when it came time for our daughter’s birthday, she wanted a store-bought cake complete with beautiful blue icing flowers. She couldn’t decide on the flavor. Vanilla or chocolate… This time we prayed on our way into the grocery store. The perfect cake for the perfect price. Wouldn’t you know it? There were two beautiful cakes on the sale rack that day. Both had beautiful blue icing flowers. One was vanilla and the other was chocolate.

Oh let me tell you “how great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,

How much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!

Matthew 7:11 (NIV)

Kingdom Glory

The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.

The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.

Psalm 145:13b-14 (NIV)

My father was diagnosed with cancer July 26th, 2000. It was incomprehensible to us that something could be so terribly wrong within this strong man. Our lives were turned upside down in the matter of moments and we would never be the same. Beginning that very day, and every day for the next 5 years, our family prayed for healing. Dad’s grandchildren prayed daily that God would take “Pa’s ouchy away.” We followed every medical opportunity for treatment and there are many praiseworthy stories of how God led us to doctors and clinics that we wouldn’t have known without His guiding. Dad enjoyed a quality of life for most of that time that baffled the doctors – apart from the cancer he was a healthy man. But after 4 years and 11 months, we all knew that unless God intervened, Dad was soon to die.

My dad had an incredible amount of faith in God to heal him. We decided to have a family service where we would all come together and petition God to heal my dad. As I am the one in vocational ministry, my family let it fall to me to prepare for the service. My faith in God’s power to heal soon gave way to fear. The more I studied and struggled to prepare, the more I worried. The prayer offered in faith would make the sick person well (James 5:15). How did I get more faith? What would I say in the service? What if God didn’t choose to heal Dad? Would our tiny children’s faith be able to survive that? Would mine? Satan has a field day with our thoughts when we let him. Praise God that the Truth sets us free!

I was reading through the books of Isaiah and Psalms. The Truth in Isaiah 40 really spoke to me. “A voice of one calling; “In the desert prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God. Every valley shall be raised up every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain. And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.” (verses 3-5) God wanted me to keep it simple. Remember, it’s all in the hands of the LORD. Verses 6-8 say, “’Cry out.’ And I said, ‘What shall I cry?’ ‘All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.’” Every breath we take is God’s. He chooses when we die.

I had been worrying “what if I say the wrong words?” Verses 9 and 10 say, “You who bring good tidings to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, ‘Here is your God!’ See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power…” Dad’s healing wasn’t dependent on me saying the right words. It was a matter of inviting the God of the ages to show up so that his glory would be revealed.

What about our children’s faith? Dad’s 5 grandchildren were 7, 6, 5, 4 and 3 years of age. They loved their Pa. Verse 11, “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” God loves those children more than we ever could. They were lambs in his arms – close to his heart. He would gently lead us.

And He did. On July 3rd, 2005, we met together in my parents’ home - Mom and Dad, my mom’s parents, and my one brother and I with our families. Four generations gathered together to seek the LORD. There were no magic words. We simply offered ourselves before the LORD and invited Him to show up. His Spirit descended in our midst in the most powerful way. We confessed sin. We testified to prayers answered in our lives. We sang His praises. We worshipped God together and then we asked Dad to simply state his request before God’s throne. I will never forget what Dad asked. We had gathered together to ask for healing. That was the reason that we had planned. But as God’s Spirit descended, Dad had felt it more important to ask for the salvation of wayward family members than to ask for his own healing. The tears streamed down my cheeks as Dad asked God for them each by name. The eternal life of these loved ones was more precious to Dad than his own life. What an example to me. We also asked God to heal my Dad that night but it paled in comparison to the cry of my Dad’s heart.

As I walked home after the service, I walked home under the beauty of a rainbow. God’s voice came so clearly to me, “See? I keep My promises!” We did what He said. We kept it simple. We invited Him to be present with us and He showed up!

The following morning, the very next Psalm in my sequence of reading was Psalm 145. It was as if David had journalled the events of the last night. “Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. One generation will commend your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds. They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness…The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down…The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call in him in truth.” (verses 3-7, 13b-14, 18).

So what was the outcome of the healing service? On August 12th, 2005, less than six weeks later, my Dad died. With his family all gathered around him, God’s breath went out of his body and his soul went to be with the LORD. Did God answer our prayers? He did. He is so faithful. Surely our preference would have been for Dad to live a long life among us but his body has no more pain. He is dancing the streets of heaven. He is healed. Our children’s faith is intact and growing. God continues to hold them close to His heart. And I continue to wait expectantly for the salvation of those that my dad held dearer than his own life.

Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.

Psalm 145:3 (NIV)

Phenomenal Cosmic Power

Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm. He said…

”Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me…

Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water?

Do you send the lightning bolts on their way? Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?”

Job 38:1, 3, 34-35 (NIV)

I hate storms. In life and in weather, I am one of those people that craves sunlight. I pray for sunlight. Early one morning, I left my family sleeping at my mom’s (Ma’s) cabin. I had to make a trip back home. It was before dawn but the sky was alight with lightning. Not that I wanted to look up and admire it. The rain was pelting down. I was dodging puddles in my sandals and already worrying about driving alone in such a vicious storm. As I pointed the vehicle towards home, I prayed that the storm would quickly end and bring the sunlight to dry up the land. I had visions of my husband, our children and the dog imprisoned in the cabin to avoid the muck and the rain. I even imagined how glorious the sky would look when Jesus returned and eternity dawned.

As the minutes wore on, I began to get a little frustrated with the LORD. Why was the storm still raging? As I headed south, directly into the heart of the storm, the sheer voltage of the lightning in front of me caught my attention. Chains streaked across the sky while forks appeared to explode towards the ground. Thousands of smaller light bursts seemed to pop behind a sheet of clouds. The sky was alive with power! All of the sudden, I was struck by the account of Job being questioned by God. This was no random scientific occurrence. God was sending these bolts of lightning. They reported to Him and they answered. I became aware of the awesome thunder. It seemed to resonate from the earth beneath me. I shut off my music and asked the LORD about it. What possible reason did He have for orchestrating such a storm? I could think of no good reason – yet the storm still raged.

I couldn’t help but watch the storm. I soon realized that I was leaning forward to take it all in. As the lightning streaked across the sky in a multitude of patterns, I consciously thought “this is better than any 4th of July”! The lightning danced! The thunder boomed! “Good one, LORD”! “Awesome”! I was awestruck!

I was awestruck…how long had it been since I had been in awe of the LORD? The awareness brought shame. “Oh, LORD, how can it have taken 45 minutes of the most magnificent demonstration of power to crack through the hard shell of my heart?” In my heart, I fell on my face before God. I was the reason for the storm. God had choreographed every single flash and thunder for me. “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.” (Hebrews 12:28) Too often, my worship has been unacceptable before God. I had needed the storm.

In the words of the popular children’s movie “Aladin”, God had demonstrated “PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER” yet had chosen “itty, bitty living space” as He dwelt in my heart. How could I not trust the One who commanded the storm with everything? There is nothing that He can’t handle! No problem so big that He can’t solve it. No problem so small that He doesn’t care. He commands the lightning – and it obeys…just so that He can reach deep within me!

As I finished the last miles of my journey, the storm began to subside. I was reluctant for it to go but the reverence and awe remained. I thanked the LORD for the majesty of the storm. I thanked Him that I hadn’t had to share that moment with anyone but Him. I praised Him for His awesome power! I worshiped Him acceptably. What a different perspective I received that day. I had come face to face, as it were, with the Almighty God, the Creator of the Universe, and He had changed me.

I hope to be alive to see the coming of the LORD. I long for the day. But I’m not so sure anymore that it will be on a cloudless day with brilliant sunshine. Perhaps He will come in the midst of a storm.

I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.

He sends from heaven and saves me…for great is your love,

reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.

Psalm 57:2-3a, 10-11 (NIV)

A Glimpse of the Cross

"...'Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit.' When He had said this, He breathed His last." Luke 23:46b (NIV)

This story is a little different than the others that I have already written but it is no less praiseworthy. Any time that God teaches us something in the midst of great trial and heartache, it is nothing short of miraculous.

I had never watched someone die. Sure, I had seen it on TV but I had never seen it face to face. The two are very different. It can be very difficult work to help someone die - even someone who knows and loves the LORD. I have had that experience.

From the first moment that my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, I was by his side. Through surgery, appointments, chemotherapy, radiation... everything that I could possibly be there for, I was. It was important to me and it meant a lot to my Dad. The diagnosis of cancer initiated a whirlwind of investigation and planning that plunged us into a road trip to the Mayo clinic for surgery. I was five months pregnant and working a new job. It didn't look like I could go. I was torn. When my husband and I decided it was more important to be there, we drove through the night and got to my Dad's side just before they wheeled him into the operating room. My Dad looked at me and said, "I knew you would come." I needed to be there and Dad needed me.

Over time, as Dad's condition worsened, I began to look to the day when Dad would leave us - when he would die. It became ever so important to me that I would be there to hold Dad's hand as he breathed his last. When Dad was confined to a hospital bed in their house and time was so valuable, I spent my days and nights in a big easy chair beside his bed. Every word that came from his mouth was so precious to me. I didn't want to miss a look, a squeeze of the hand, a kiss... I was there.

I don't know what I expected of death. I think I expected it to be peaceful. That's how it's usually portrayed. The dying person just closes their eyes and goes to sleep, right? That's not how it was for my Dad. His body was riddled with cancer yet his heart was strong. Dad was covered by a blanket up to his waist yet I watched as his feet then his legs grew mottled. I labored to keep his arm and then his hand warm. For what seemed an eternity, Dad fought for every single breath. It really was a fight. His whole body worked in desperation for air. It was agony for him and for us. Each breath took so much work. He looked gaunt. The battle had taken its toll. I begged the LORD to take him home, yet it took time. With those short, ragged final breaths when there was lengthening pause in between, you wondered if each was the last - and finally it was. I had been there - holding his hand.

There was one last thing to do for my Dad. One last act that I could do to say "I love you." I helped wash him and dress him to be taken away. It was important to me. I won't tell you about the events of those next few days right now. That's another tale and a tale of God's wondrous mercy and blessing but I want to tell you that God never wastes a heartache. He always works for us, in us and through us in our times of greatest trial.

I gained invaluable insight that day. As I watched my Dad die, my thoughts were drawn to the cross where Jesus lay down His life for me. It wasn't pretty or easy. It was a desperately hard work. No man before or since ever suffered so much. No one has ever bore so much in death. Jesus bore our sins so that we wouldn't have to. He hung on that cross, laboring to breathe, body broken - alone. I had been able to be by Dad's side - Mary watched from a distance and Peter had disowned Him. I held Dad's hand and worked to ease all possible discomfort. Jesus was offered vinegar for His thirst. He felt abandoned. His cry... "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Mark 15:34b) Dad was surrounded by those that loved him. Mark tells us that those who passed by hurled insults at him, others mocked him, and those that crucified him also heaped insults on him. My LORD paid the ultimate price... for me.

I have a new appreciation of the cost of my salvation. True, it is just a glimpse. I can never know how much my redemption from sin cost but I am thankful for the glimpse. May I remember it often and proclaim it boldly.

"But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The punishment that brought us peace was upon Him..." Isaiah 53:5a (NIV)

"He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed." 1 Peter 2:24 (NIV)