God Keeps His Promises

I love the LORD because He hears and answers my prayers.
Because He bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!
Psalm 116:1, 2 (NLT)


Have you ever wanted something so badly that you aren’t sure how you can live without it? I have. When my husband and I had been married about 5 years, we decided that it was time to start our own family. What began as such an exciting adventure soon became full of anguish as month after month, no child was conceived. If you have ever struggled with infertility, you will know the intense feelings of personal failure that come with the knowledge that your body isn’t capable of doing that which you feel it was created to do. You fight a vicious emotional battle with yourself as, for some paradoxical reason, you are now keenly aware of a world full of pregnant women. Being barren can be an incredibly painful experience that can only fully be appreciated by those who have been there. This is the situation that I found myself in.

As if it were yesterday, I remember sitting in a doctor’s office and hearing the words, “I am 90% sure that your body does not release any eggs and that you will never conceive without fertility drugs.” When I immediately begged to be prescribed the drugs, I was told that until she had documented two complete years of my infertility herself, she would not prescribe any fertility medication. How I made the drive to my husband is a miracle in itself. The tears that poured down my face would have put any rainstorm to shame.

I poured over the scriptures, trying desperately to claim the promise that the LORD made to Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. Try as I might, I knew that the LORD wasn’t giving these verses to me. If I presumed to claim them, I knew it would be a lie. I went to visit my pastor and poured out my heart in a flood of tears. His response was so far from what I had hoped for as he said, “Karrie, God never promised that you would have children.” I knew that he was right but the truth of those words devastated me. His next words held a challenge that comes from wisdom. What was I going to do now? Would I still love the LORD? Would I still serve Him? Where did this leave me and God?

It took quite some time, and I would be lying if I said it was easy, but I made the decision that God was my God regardless of if I ever had children. My grandfather later voiced what I think became my wordless conclusion, “if God never did anything more for me than send His Son to pay the ransom for my soul, it would be enough reason to serve Him forever.” My husband and I went to visit my younger brother and his wife and their newborn baby. It was a painful experience but I knew that if I was never anything but an aunt, I would be alright. In hindsight, I know that this is the lesson that God was waiting for me to learn.

I came home from work early one morning and turned on the television. I caught a glimpse of a Christian TV program. To be honest, I would normally keep flipping through the channels in search of something more interesting, but for some reason that I can only attribute to God, this day I decided to watch. The next guest on the show read from Psalm 113. When she read verse 9, it was as if God Himself tapped me on the shoulder and gave me the promise “He settles the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!” Praise the Lord indeed! There was such an exquisite excitement that filled me as I knew that the Lord was giving this promise to me. It wasn’t like before. I wasn’t trying to claim someone else’s promise. I wasn’t trying to make God say something to me that He wasn’t. I knew the difference. How awesome! I began praising God in advance for the children that we would one day have.

That day arrived only 10 months later! God gave us a son! He was gorgeous! He was healthy! He was perfect! And he was mine! He wasn’t the product of fertility drugs, although I know that using them in no way diminishes the power of the miracle of a new life. He was a priceless treasure from God Himself.

When God makes a promise, He doesn’t miss a single detail. Less than a year after Carter was born, I was once again pregnant. This time, though, I miscarried. It was a heartrending trial to go through – but God got me through. You see, I had such an assurance in my heart that God had promised me children that I was able to accept this as something that God would explain to me some day and waited with anticipation for God to completely deliver His promise.
Soon I became pregnant again. This pregnancy flew by without problems – until I went into labor! The umbilical cord was wrapped twice around our baby’s neck. To make matters worse, the baby was coming face up. The heart rate was skyrocketing at an alarming rate and I was exhausted from pushing with no progress. The doctor told me that we had to get this baby here – NOW – and tripped a silent alarm. The frenzy of medical staff flying past the waiting room left my parents wondering who wasn’t going to make it – me or the baby. They were helpless to help but isn’t that when we learn that we aren’t truly helpless at all? They prayed!

Ephesians 3:20 b says that God “is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.” If I had ever dared to voice my deepest desires, I would have admitted that I really wanted a son first and then a daughter. When you have been so desperate to have a baby you feel ashamed to be as particular as to request anything more than to have a healthy child but I had a vivid picture of a little girl living in my dreams. She was dainty and petite, with big dark eyes and long dark hair. I had even met a little girl that I had described as the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen – that is until our daughter was born!

Two and a half years after I first held my son, I held my daughter. The nurses told me that I had a million dollar family but I knew I had been blessed by God. Despite a prolonged lack of oxygen, we have a healthy, intelligent, beautiful daughter! God hears our cries. He cares about the desires of our heart. He keeps His promises! Praise the LORD!

It has been five years since my daughter was born – seven since the birth of my son. You couldn’t really ask for a better big brother. He’s gentle yet strong, protective and quite tolerant of his sister’s “spunk”. And my tiny daughter, she has a head full of the most beautiful long dark curls, striking big dark eyes that dance with enthusiasm, and a heart for the LORD! Oh, what an amazing God…

He settles the barren woman in her home
as the happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD!
Psalm 113:9 (NIV)